The hardest part of being a closet crossdresser is that feeling that nobody knows who you really are. There are a few people who know my secret, but it's still a secret for the most part until I get enough confidence.
Wearing flats while doing errands has inadvertently been a social experiment testing society's acceptance. Oddly, most people don't seem to notice my flats, whether black, red, or metallic. A few people notice, take another look, and then just go about their business. I haven't noticed anyone try to take a photo, but it's something I try to be overly aware of.
Carrying a purse doesn't seem to attract the attention from strangers that I would have expected. I do live in a reasonably city, with a diverse population, though crossdressers are definitely not usually seen around.
Strutting in heels definitely gets more attention, mostly from women - guys might look, but seem to be too shy (or are uncomfortable with their own thoughts and feelings) to confirm they saw me.
Mixing feminine with masculine seems to be a safer direction to go when out in public. Deep down, it's easy to have fears of ending up in a hate crime situation because some in society have trouble with respecting others.
In building up confidence, I wonder when I'll run into someone I know, family, friends, coworkers. Statistically, the more times I venture out, the more chance of running into someone. There have been times where at the last moment, I changed my mind and switched to guys shoes/clothes, only to run into someone at a store I wouldn't expect to see them. I've realized that all this risk is due to the burden of carrying such a secret.
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