A new hair style is one way a woman can redefine herself, watching locks of the past fall away, and welcoming a refreshing future. Going long, cutting short, bangs, bobs, fades, so many options to walk out of a salon with a new attitude, new confidence, and new attraction.
Attraction leads me to dress, dressing leads to distraction. Sometimes, though, distraction pleasantly leads me to not dress for weeks. Musing challenges whether this is really just a long phase of inevitably stopping.
Beauty surrounding me, can make me feel beautiful, just as much as wearing beauty. My collection of dresses and shoes feel like they don't need to be there, but there is some familiarity, some history of keeping them. If only a new hair style could do all this for me.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Fashion invasion
Balancing in heels is a lot easier than finding a balance with dressing and life. It seems unfair that only one gender gets approved to wear sexy shoes that exposes feet, increases height, adds an alluring gait. They're just shoes after all, right. At least that's what I try to believe.
Embellishing with makeup and nail polish unfairly lets some perfect their look, and forces guys to have realistic looks, with no way to iron out wrinkles, or cover up cracked nails, or fix skin blemishes. Wearing guy makeup and nail polish is slowly becoming accepted, if you declare being metro.
Showing off skin, bare chests, slender arms, smooth midriffs only works when wearing fashions that are stereotypically admit being flamboyantly gay. Why not uncover and show that we too aren't perfect. Body hair can be made to look attractive with the fashionable cuts and fabric.
Accessorizing with scarves, jewelry, piercings, and taboo colors seems more normal for the next generation where guys in skinny jeans and tight shirts stream football games. If only to have been born a decade later.
Embellishing with makeup and nail polish unfairly lets some perfect their look, and forces guys to have realistic looks, with no way to iron out wrinkles, or cover up cracked nails, or fix skin blemishes. Wearing guy makeup and nail polish is slowly becoming accepted, if you declare being metro.
Showing off skin, bare chests, slender arms, smooth midriffs only works when wearing fashions that are stereotypically admit being flamboyantly gay. Why not uncover and show that we too aren't perfect. Body hair can be made to look attractive with the fashionable cuts and fabric.
Accessorizing with scarves, jewelry, piercings, and taboo colors seems more normal for the next generation where guys in skinny jeans and tight shirts stream football games. If only to have been born a decade later.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Happy holidays (hopefully)
The season of stress has begun! Stress to get places, stress to get gifts, stress to make everyone else's holiday happy. All while watching women swap out their summer clothes for infinity scarves, sweater dresses, lined leggings, tall boots. If only I could swap out my boring guy clothes for a feminine, refreshing winter look, along with lots of fun accessories. Maybe dressing how I feel would eliminate one stress point.
The season of sales is here! Normal guys all over are walking into women's stores, browsing the women's depts, purchasing feminine items for those special women in their lives. For us, that means more cute fashions to try on, more help from unassuming SAs, more approval glances from wives and mothers who think we're shopping for them, more items in our sizes, more gifts to ourselves.
The season of red is livening up the cold. My favorite cashier decked the halls in a dark red sweater, dark blue jeans, dark red fur boots, crimson lipstick, all while jingling her new curly long hair look. I doubt she realizes how inspiring her simple fashion looks are. Her store has a good variety of red clothing and shoes to keep the holidays happy (hopefully).
The season of sales is here! Normal guys all over are walking into women's stores, browsing the women's depts, purchasing feminine items for those special women in their lives. For us, that means more cute fashions to try on, more help from unassuming SAs, more approval glances from wives and mothers who think we're shopping for them, more items in our sizes, more gifts to ourselves.
The season of red is livening up the cold. My favorite cashier decked the halls in a dark red sweater, dark blue jeans, dark red fur boots, crimson lipstick, all while jingling her new curly long hair look. I doubt she realizes how inspiring her simple fashion looks are. Her store has a good variety of red clothing and shoes to keep the holidays happy (hopefully).
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Dressing down
Stealth mode is a tactic many of us part-time dressers use to balance social norms with our desires to push the fashion gender lines.
There's a term, underdressing, which refers to dressing in bras/panties/pantyhose/camis under our normal guy clothes. I was surprised that some guys are able to underdress every day to work, wearing guy suits over soft, feminine items. It takes a lot of attention to detail to ensure that there are no visible panty lines, bra/cami strap bulges, or peeking pantyhose that would give away our true identities.
Subtle dressing is a term I use for blending in women's fashions into a "guy look". Socks are an easy, yet invisible start. Black flats or black wedges with black nylon socks are almost invisible since most people pay very little attention to the shoes a guy is wearing. V-neck tees and higher scoop tops could look like something out of a guy's closet. A sweater dress can be converted to look like a long sweater. Skinny jeans are finally "in" for both genders. Bangles and bracelets can be worn with long sleeves for quick concealment. Crossbody purses could look like satchels. The key is acting confident, looking friendly, and walking with determination to avoid too much notice.
Dressing down is a new term I've come up with to mean shedding feminine attire just before arriving at work, home, or somewhere others just don't understand you yet. Changing into pair of heels in the car can easily add some fun to a boring commute. Leaving home dressed as a guy on the outside makes it easy to shed a few layers into a cute, womanly outfit while running errands in a neighboring town. There is a sad, sometimes frustrating feeling, when it is time to get back into guy uniform. Yet, that's one way of maintaining a balance.
There's a term, underdressing, which refers to dressing in bras/panties/pantyhose/camis under our normal guy clothes. I was surprised that some guys are able to underdress every day to work, wearing guy suits over soft, feminine items. It takes a lot of attention to detail to ensure that there are no visible panty lines, bra/cami strap bulges, or peeking pantyhose that would give away our true identities.
Subtle dressing is a term I use for blending in women's fashions into a "guy look". Socks are an easy, yet invisible start. Black flats or black wedges with black nylon socks are almost invisible since most people pay very little attention to the shoes a guy is wearing. V-neck tees and higher scoop tops could look like something out of a guy's closet. A sweater dress can be converted to look like a long sweater. Skinny jeans are finally "in" for both genders. Bangles and bracelets can be worn with long sleeves for quick concealment. Crossbody purses could look like satchels. The key is acting confident, looking friendly, and walking with determination to avoid too much notice.
Dressing down is a new term I've come up with to mean shedding feminine attire just before arriving at work, home, or somewhere others just don't understand you yet. Changing into pair of heels in the car can easily add some fun to a boring commute. Leaving home dressed as a guy on the outside makes it easy to shed a few layers into a cute, womanly outfit while running errands in a neighboring town. There is a sad, sometimes frustrating feeling, when it is time to get back into guy uniform. Yet, that's one way of maintaining a balance.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Labels
Male or female. Straight or gay. Crossdresser, transvestite, or transgender
Several times a year, I find myself searching the internet, looking to see if anyone else has found an answer to the same way I feel. I am male, I am straight, I like women, I crossdress, then the rest gets blurry.
Transgender has been in the news a lot lately, seems like most of 2015. But most of the stories are about full transitions (notably Caitlyn Jenner). The only transgender people I know personally are both M2F post-transition (neither of them know my secret). Some websites define the T in LGBT as an umbrella term that covers crossdressers.
Sometimes it feels that knowing the label I fit into would make all of this so much easier to understand, or maybe easier to not feel so alone, so confused, so stalemate. Other times, the only labels that matter are the ones on consignment dresses or purses.
For years, I rejected labeling myself a crossdresser or a transvestite. I thought that all I was doing was dressing in women's things. A couple of years ago, I finally accepted that I'm a crossdresser.
Several times a year, I find myself searching the internet, looking to see if anyone else has found an answer to the same way I feel. I am male, I am straight, I like women, I crossdress, then the rest gets blurry.
Transgender has been in the news a lot lately, seems like most of 2015. But most of the stories are about full transitions (notably Caitlyn Jenner). The only transgender people I know personally are both M2F post-transition (neither of them know my secret). Some websites define the T in LGBT as an umbrella term that covers crossdressers.
Sometimes it feels that knowing the label I fit into would make all of this so much easier to understand, or maybe easier to not feel so alone, so confused, so stalemate. Other times, the only labels that matter are the ones on consignment dresses or purses.
For years, I rejected labeling myself a crossdresser or a transvestite. I thought that all I was doing was dressing in women's things. A couple of years ago, I finally accepted that I'm a crossdresser.
Credit: itspronouncedmetrosexual.com
Superwoman
Each episode of MasterChef she's on, Christina Tosi stands tall in stilettos as one of those attractive women where a very guy part of me thinks WOW, and a very different part of me thinks OMG, where did she get that outfit!! She's definitely fit, probably works out often, eats healthily (though she's a baking chef), has long legs, noticeably slender arms, and amazing hair. There's no way I could ever look like her, yet her visual appeal intrigues me.
She's not the image most people have of a chef, trendy dresses instead of an apron, heels in the kitchen instead of sneakers, confident, poised, powerful. Her dresses are always the same length, the same length mine look on me :)
Women often dress for 1. themselves, 2. other women, 3. guys. As a crossdresser, I enjoy that same exhilaration women get when their outfit finally comes together. Subtly crossdressed in public, I know how satisfying and reinforcing it is to get a smile or compliment from another woman who notices some part of my outfit (and that I'm a guy wearing it). If a guy happens to notice (rarely) some crossdressing aspect of me, I often feel either confidently independent or anticipatingly defensive.
One day, I hope I can feel like a superwoman!
She's not the image most people have of a chef, trendy dresses instead of an apron, heels in the kitchen instead of sneakers, confident, poised, powerful. Her dresses are always the same length, the same length mine look on me :)
Women often dress for 1. themselves, 2. other women, 3. guys. As a crossdresser, I enjoy that same exhilaration women get when their outfit finally comes together. Subtly crossdressed in public, I know how satisfying and reinforcing it is to get a smile or compliment from another woman who notices some part of my outfit (and that I'm a guy wearing it). If a guy happens to notice (rarely) some crossdressing aspect of me, I often feel either confidently independent or anticipatingly defensive.
One day, I hope I can feel like a superwoman!
photo credit: Google Images :)
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Dress size challenge
It's okay, we all think we can fit into a smaller, sleeker
dress size, a perfect dress that could take an inverted triangle shape and make it into the coveted hourglass shape.
Juniors' dresses (odd size numbers) are often trendy, cheap in price, really tight to squeeze into and almost impossible to get out of. Several times, I have been able to (stupidly) squeeze into a dress that felt like I would have needed to embarrassingly ask an SA to help me out of. The problem is that the dresses are cut for smaller body ratios.
Women's dresses (even size numbers) take a lot of trying on of different sizes, lengths, styles, fabrics, color combinations to find that flattering fit. Letter sizes (S/M/L/XL) seem to be more forgiving than numbered sizes. Stretchy dresses can give a nice fitted feel as they cling to your body.
Wearing the right bra, both in size and style, can have a bold impact on how the perfect dress looks in a dressing room selfie.
Juniors' dresses (odd size numbers) are often trendy, cheap in price, really tight to squeeze into and almost impossible to get out of. Several times, I have been able to (stupidly) squeeze into a dress that felt like I would have needed to embarrassingly ask an SA to help me out of. The problem is that the dresses are cut for smaller body ratios.
Women's dresses (even size numbers) take a lot of trying on of different sizes, lengths, styles, fabrics, color combinations to find that flattering fit. Letter sizes (S/M/L/XL) seem to be more forgiving than numbered sizes. Stretchy dresses can give a nice fitted feel as they cling to your body.
Wearing the right bra, both in size and style, can have a bold impact on how the perfect dress looks in a dressing room selfie.
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