Name brands

Growing up, I was one of those kids that only had no-name branded clothes and shoes.  I came from a background which couldn't afford buying big-name brands, and ended up seeing that the value of money was more powerful than the names on labels. 

Growing older, I find there is an exhilarating feeling of finding brand name clothing, shoes, and purses for a few dollars in thrift stores, in good condition, full of life experiences and adventurous stories.  Inspecting my finds, it's interesting how little details of the previous owner get left behind...slight lipstick marks inside purses, worn pocket corners on jeans, tiny dents on soles, clothing labels with the year and style.  These gently used, name brand items provide me a chance to wear quality, stylish, and ultra feminine items that I couldn't have worn growing up.

Fitting room break

Shopping is something that women love and hate.

There's the love of looking at all the pretty things, imagining the attractive outfits, the sexy feeling of trying on styles they might never wear.

There's the hate of all the options and combinations to consider, realizing the troublesome body areas that get highlighted by what were supposed to be attractive outfits, the energy drawn to remove and put back all those layers (top, cami, bra, jeans, heels/boots) during each dressing room trip.

One frustrating shopping day, I too experienced my love for shopping change into a short-term hate as hours of trying on fun outfits changed into hours of frustration trying to find a feminine style for my very masculine body.

A fitting room bench offered a place to sit down and relax tired feet (in heels), time to stare into the mirror and contemplate a shopping strategy, a few private moments away from judging eyes, an excuse to re-energize.

photo credit: The Choices via photopin (license)

Still here

Blogging is a lot like crossdressing, there are moments where we are consumed with wanting to create dressed up posts every day, perfecting the image of each post, and anxiously checking if anyone noticed the difference.  Then there are times where we don't bother to look into our writing closets, busy with life, or just not motivated.

Several blogs and websites I've enjoyed haven't been updated with new posts for years.  Curiosity has me wondering, what happened to the author, did they stop dressing, did they find acceptance and no longer needed to share, did they run out of stories, or did depression find a dark corner.

Shopping quests

Many video games use the concept of completing quests, searches for special items, to grow game characters.  My closet too seems to have grown through various shopping quests...

    Flats                        Pumps        Red heels               Peep toe heels

        Strappy heels                            Subtle wedges        Boots 

    Fashion tights        Sheer tights

    Basic tops        Polo tops        High neckline tops 

        Sheer tops                                    Career tops and pants 

    Skinny jeans        Passable jeans 

    Holiday dresses         Casual dresses        Special occasion dresses 

    Sweaters 

    Purses        Wristlets        Crossbody purses        Handbags

    Jewelry 

    Simple briefs        Bras        Shaping swimsuits        

        Shapewear            Victoria's Secret bras !!!

Stepping out

Before walking confidently in heels, we need to start with one foot in front of the other, staring at the ground as we learn balance.  With patience, practice, and paying attention, we can reach new places.

Stepping out for me has led me...

1. Trying on shoes (the beginning)
2. Tights under jeans
3. Panties under jeans
4. Bras under thick clothes
5. Neutral tops
6. Subtle women's jeans
7. Women's sneakers
8. Flats with black knee-his
9. Flats with nude knee-his
10. Low wedges
11. Flashy pumps
12. Flashy flats
13. Cross-body purses
14. Shapewear
15. Jewelry
16. Full outfits (2 years later)

Evolving mindsets

Women are known to shop.  Crossdressers are known to shop discreetly, with quite a lot of nervousness mixed in.  I found my shopping mindset has evolved over the years...

• Not shopping (the early years)
• Just browsing (learning)
• For someone (that imaginary woman)
• This might be the size (intelligent shopping for that still imaginary woman)
• Shopping for me (confidently now)

New hair style

A new hair style is one way a woman can redefine herself, watching locks of the past fall away, and welcoming a refreshing future. Going long, cutting short, bangs, bobs, fades, so many options to walk out of a salon with a new attitude, new confidence, and new attraction.

Attraction leads me to dress, dressing leads to distraction.  Sometimes, though, distraction pleasantly leads me to not dress for weeks.  Musing challenges whether this is really just a long phase of inevitably stopping.

Beauty surrounding me, can make me feel beautiful, just as much as wearing beauty.  My collection of dresses and shoes feel like they don't need to be there, but there is some familiarity, some history of keeping them.  If only a new hair style could do all this for me.