I'm in Crossdresser Heaven

 
Where's Lea?  No posts for several weeks.

Nothing to worry, I recently admitted that I need a support group and joined Crossdresser Heaven.  My first article on there has led to many wonderful discussions and insight in this journey.  I'll continue to post on here, just been busy reading and replying to articles.

Uncomfortable layers

Layers are a great for adding color variety, changing shape, improving bust and cleavage outlines.  As the weather warms up, one additional layer can make it feel uncomfortable warm.

In Spring, for my guy wardrobe, I switch from wearing undershirts to just wearing t-shirts and polos.  Underdressing today with a bra under a t-shirt, it definitely felt much warmer than just wearing a t-shirt.  A thin cami can have the same uncomfortable effect.  This might explain why the majority of women I know seem to run "hot" compared to me, they have to wear at least 1 more layer (a bra) or 2 more layers (a bra + a cami) than what I wear in guy mode.

A solution, wear thin tops (definitely not guy t-shirts), sheer tops, or lace tops when wearing a bra or cami.  Seems like reverse logic - women choose to wear a bra or cami under a thin top, while us crossdresses look for a top to go over a bra or cami.

Random fashion tips

Photo credit: TGlamorpuss Photo
via Foter.com / CC BY-ND

Trial and error, and lots of wasted purchases (luckily most were cheap at thrift stores), buying women's clothes and shoes has taught me a lot about fashion....

Bra band size, cup size, and fit

(enhance some, avoid too busty)

Hi-cut briefs better than thongs
(keeps the jewels in place)

Dark tights
(smoothens legs, hides hair)

Camis
(easy shapewear, hides chubby areas, hides cleavage)

Sleeves or thick straps
(high neck line, hides chest hair)

Left shoe is always tighter
(not tried on as much by customers)

Regular jeans length is good for flats
(or Long jeans for heels and boots)

Guy skinny jeans are more practical than purses
(where did I leave my purse)

Makeup
(takes a long time to put on, and a long time to take off)

Womens dept
(Juniors clothes are cute, but way to tight in various areas)

Sizes 
(try them all, no two sizes are ever the same) 

Layers 
(even in summer, use to fix shape issues or to fix low-cut tops)

Long sleeves 
(for casual, cover up with sweaters, thin tops)

Necklaces
(great for making tops less revealing)

You Go Cait!

Finally watched About Bruce, the two episodes on Keeping Up with the Kardashians about how the family deals with Bruce Jenner's coming out and transition plans.  The show could be a great conversation starter with loved ones about a very difficult topic.  It was enlightening to have an insight into how a man like Bruce Jenner, Olympic athlete, sports hero, struggled with being transgender, how his kids struggled with a hidden side of their dad, and how his ex-wife still loved him even though they split up.

There were a lot of themes that I was fascinated with how well they portrayed them:

• Sneaking around at 4 AM in women's clothes
• Thinking no one knows, when some know and just don't mention it
• Family feeling hurt by lying to before, during, and after coming out
• Needing to lie about how far and how much more
• Wife feeling like she doesn't know her husband
• Wife feeling like now she has to grow old alone
• Kim's (daughter) fashion advice for Bruce
• Chloe (daughter) was upset with the lying
• Stealing wive's clothes and the need to give back (buy your own)
• Stealing wive's makeup
• Stealing daugther's (awkward)
• Messy feminine side of the closet
• Found out by kids, never talked about
• Meeting "her", two lives

Can't wait to continue the story with the new Hulu show, Cait.  You go girl!

Hint hint

Every month, I have a cycle....no, not that ultra feminine one of discomfort.  Most weeks, I crossdress several times a week, sometimes just at home, sometimes out running errands.  One week each month, I have this intense, unexplainable desire to show that "once again, our favorite crossdress ventures out into the world".  This desire to make sure the world knows my secret, or at least a few people whom I don't really know, but I'm sure recognize me from shopping in their stores.

photo credit: Arinka, summer mood
via photopin(license)

Every month, during that same week, I mentally try to reason that there is nothing "wrong" with what I do, I want to be accepted, I deserve to be accepted, I want my spouse to know more about my dressing, I want my friends and family to know the real me.  At home, I drop hints, leaving a pair of flats out in a noticeable place, delicates hanging to dry, a special drawer left open, jewelry sitting on the dresser.  If anyone at home sees these hints, nobody says anything.

Every month, I find that week a test of restraint.  I can confidently crossdress and go out when I'm on my own, avoiding places where I might run into friends or family.  With family and friends, I wish I could talk to them about the real me to avoid them feeling like my crossdressing is being forced onto them.  Then that week ends, and I'm back to enjoying the status quo of being a closeted crossdresser.

Gender Bending Fashion Diva

I recently read Lucille Sorella's article on How to Make a Feminine First Impression where she led me to finally discovering a term that seems to truly describe me, a gender bending fashion diva.  I love fashion, I love bending in feminine clothes, shoes, and accessories while still identifying as a guy, and I can spend the whole day shopping.

Flats are everywhere

Spring's here, the weather's getting warmer, it's raining less.  Boots are being put away, flats and sandals are coming back out.  Daytime shopping, during the week, I'm the only guy in most stores (department, chain, discount, thrift) surrounded by lots of women shopping.

Photo credit: feet1977 via Foter.com / CC BY-ND

No one notices that I'm wearing black flats with my guy outfit, but I notice that most women are wearing flats, lots of different styles, a few different colors.  Black flats are really popular, some that fit the wearer stylishly well, some that seem to be getting crushed by overly wide feet.  Nude flats go well with light color jeans or color matched to untanned feet.

Photo credit: Katie Burry via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

To all you guys, slip on a pair of flats and show the world that we too can look really good wearing flats, coordinating them to our outfits.  Knee-his are great for hiding feet issues, no-show socks help avoid blisters.  Jeans and long pants can hide most of the shoe.  Or roll the jeans up, go bare, and show off great feet and legs.

Photo credit: Stacie Stacie Stacie via Foter.com / CC BY-SA