This blog isn't something that I've shared with my wife. I'm not sure how she would react to it, though seems like any reminder that I'm a crossdresser is usually something she's not interested in.
Watching TV shows about transgender lives also isn't something she would really encourage, though I find it fascinating to understand how Cait dealt with her struggles, or how the the girls from Transcendent try to have normal lives. There's a comfort from knowing that they are all genetic-men struggling with gender issues, much like me.
The media seems censored to me as I need covertly update my blog, or quickly, subtly review comments on various articles, or quietly watch shows that matter to me.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Coming out party
In the last few weeks of this year, thoughts have been on my mind about whether 2017 will be the year I come out to my world that I'm a crossdresser. We often put so much effort into events, even planning our own weddings and funerals years before we're ready. For a crossdresser, seems appropriate that we should actually plan our coming out party, even if it's till years before we'll be the guest of honor.
Last night, I had an unusual dream...I'm dressed in a black cocktail dress, with sheer black tights, and sparkly black pumps. I'm peeking through a doorway, seeing lots of people I know having fun, all dressed up for some important event. Anxiety hits and I duck back into the Mens room, casually walk up to a urinal, and notice that there's another guy in this bathroom looking at me oddly. I start to wonder, do they seem me dressed as a woman. I quickly find a mirror, and see myself with my mostly guy-looking face, yet accented with beautiful makeup, and a feminine hairstyle, all coordinated with my outfit, looking more beautiful than I have ever imagined. Then I realize, this is my coming out party!
Last night, I had an unusual dream...I'm dressed in a black cocktail dress, with sheer black tights, and sparkly black pumps. I'm peeking through a doorway, seeing lots of people I know having fun, all dressed up for some important event. Anxiety hits and I duck back into the Mens room, casually walk up to a urinal, and notice that there's another guy in this bathroom looking at me oddly. I start to wonder, do they seem me dressed as a woman. I quickly find a mirror, and see myself with my mostly guy-looking face, yet accented with beautiful makeup, and a feminine hairstyle, all coordinated with my outfit, looking more beautiful than I have ever imagined. Then I realize, this is my coming out party!
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| Photo credit: Street style city via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA |
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Tying the knots
Scarves are everywhere now that it's fall/spring. I've been exploring these new accessories to me and am amazed at the many uses and solutions they provide.
Low cut blouses are easily covered up with the right scarf pattern and knot. Even in summer, many women wear light scarves to keep their tops looking more modest. In winter, either for warmth or modesty, scarves are are great accessory which also helps make wide chests look femininely slim.
Necklaces can be replaced with scarves and their various knots to help decorate the neckline, hide manly necks, and to make the torso appear to be femininely shorter. Numerous blogs show 10s of ways to tie scarves, sometimes even tying two scarves together into a masterpiece.
Bare shoulders are easily covered and uncovered using scarves. Summer tops and dresses can be easily converted to winter wear by adding thick scarves used as shawls.
Plain tops can be made more exciting by adding winter or holiday scarves to attract attention away from solid color tops. Sequins, shine, sparkles, on scarves
all add fun to boring outfits.
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| Photo credit: Linriel via Foter.com / CC BY-ND |
Necklaces can be replaced with scarves and their various knots to help decorate the neckline, hide manly necks, and to make the torso appear to be femininely shorter. Numerous blogs show 10s of ways to tie scarves, sometimes even tying two scarves together into a masterpiece.
Bare shoulders are easily covered and uncovered using scarves. Summer tops and dresses can be easily converted to winter wear by adding thick scarves used as shawls.
Plain tops can be made more exciting by adding winter or holiday scarves to attract attention away from solid color tops. Sequins, shine, sparkles, on scarves
all add fun to boring outfits.
Lower expectations
Men have significant high expectations we need to deliver to the ecosystems we live in.
Dads are expected to do "dad stuff". If only that included routinely wearing a princess dress and tiara to go to a tea party along with Mr and Mrs Bear. My wife doesn't think the kids should know about this part of me. How will I hide the dozens of pairs of shoes, or neatly hung dresses, or drawer full of bras and pantyhose from inquiring mind who expect a truthful dad.
Husbands are expected to provide a strong shoulder to their wives, supporting them in adventures and perils, calming their fashion anxieties. Who will support my occasional displeasure at wearing a shirt and tie, and readily encourage me to just wear anything when I change for the last time into a pretty dress, matching heels, and coordinated purse.
Role models are expected to provide stable models to impressionable minds. Why not also show the true, wavy mind that struggles with identity, fitting in, and social acceptance even at a mature age.
As crossdressers, we lower our expectations of acceptance as we try to survive and avoid disruption to others and their high expectations.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Wearing a bra to bed
Seems like there are two reasons to wear a bra to bed, either to sleep in it or for other adventures instead of sleeping.
Women seem to look for the first opportunity to take off their bra at home, and don’t seem to like the idea of going to sleep with their bra on.
I’ve tried sleeping with a padded underwire bra on and found that it took some getting used to turning from side to side, though I did like the lines it created on my skin when I took it off the next morning. Sleeping on my chest was a bit uncomfortable and ran the risk of indenting my cute bra cups. Lastly, the lace on some bras seems so delicate that it might rip if snagged when turning from side to side.
Sports bras are much more comfortable for sleeping in, jus watch out for them being too tight or affecting your circulation. Sleep bras (mostly cloth, no support, no underwire, no padding) are probably the best bra for sleeping in. They keep the chest in place, yet aren’t uncomfortable.
But for us who only sleep in a bra occasionally, it’s still a fun experience!
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| Photo credit: hiddencage via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND |
Women seem to look for the first opportunity to take off their bra at home, and don’t seem to like the idea of going to sleep with their bra on.
I’ve tried sleeping with a padded underwire bra on and found that it took some getting used to turning from side to side, though I did like the lines it created on my skin when I took it off the next morning. Sleeping on my chest was a bit uncomfortable and ran the risk of indenting my cute bra cups. Lastly, the lace on some bras seems so delicate that it might rip if snagged when turning from side to side.
Sports bras are much more comfortable for sleeping in, jus watch out for them being too tight or affecting your circulation. Sleep bras (mostly cloth, no support, no underwire, no padding) are probably the best bra for sleeping in. They keep the chest in place, yet aren’t uncomfortable.
But for us who only sleep in a bra occasionally, it’s still a fun experience!
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Real men wear sports bras
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| Photo credit: Ahnubis via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND |
Real men wear sports bras. Sports bras support the chest and back, keeping the upper body snug. Extremely comfortable and lightweight, yet durable and protective. Comfortable enough to sleep in, subtle enough to wear in guy mode.
Workout clothes seem to be one area the guys closet is borrowing more from women, with more feminine-cut tank tops, trendy pink sports shoes, compression runner's tights. I hope sports bras make that crossover someday so that guys all over can experience such comfort.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Retail Therapy
One more post I wrote on crossdresserheaven.com
The daily struggle living life as a secret crossdresser can be stressful and depressing.
Just like many normal women, wearing stylish heels or cute flats in guy mode, I’ve found retail therapy!
There’s something relaxing about spending an hour before work or at lunch openly trying on heels at my favorite shoestore, browsing the clearance dress rack in a dept store, taking a long walk wearing flats, confidently looking through racks of cute used outfits.
Seeing so many other attractive women shopping, noticing their different outfits, and admiring their flats, heels, sandals, and wedges. Finally, complimenting women on styles I like.
It all feels so normal.
Then back to work or life, back into guy shoes, back to surviving as crossdresser trying to balance it all.
The daily struggle living life as a secret crossdresser can be stressful and depressing.
Just like many normal women, wearing stylish heels or cute flats in guy mode, I’ve found retail therapy!
There’s something relaxing about spending an hour before work or at lunch openly trying on heels at my favorite shoestore, browsing the clearance dress rack in a dept store, taking a long walk wearing flats, confidently looking through racks of cute used outfits.
Seeing so many other attractive women shopping, noticing their different outfits, and admiring their flats, heels, sandals, and wedges. Finally, complimenting women on styles I like.
It all feels so normal.
Then back to work or life, back into guy shoes, back to surviving as crossdresser trying to balance it all.
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