Ever since I was little, having girl friends was really important to me.
Getting
that female perspective seemed natural, talking about girly things
seemed fun, and hearing "you're a guy, you wouldn't get it" was always
ironic. I seemed to be able to bear conversations on nail polish colors,
struggles in tight skirts, dilemmas of shoe sizes and clothing fits.
Some topics were never mentioned - s.e.x. and periods.
Even after meeting my wife, there have always been a few women
friends in my life that compliment a part of me that guy friends
wouldn't understand, and even my wife doesn't understand. At times, my
wife naturally has had trouble understanding why I have such close
friendships with these other women.
This
week, after an interesting encounter while shopping (see my other post
on that), I finally realized that I have no trouble talking to women.
I
also realized that I'm missing those close girl friends since I've let
myself drift away from making new girl friends and ignored the reality
that girl friends too have drifted away.
Being
on crossdressheaven.com helps fill that need for girl talk. And this week I
realized that I can still make new girl friends to go shopping with,
have lunch with, and just do girly stuff with!
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Shoe shopping with Sarah
Out shopping at lunch time today, I had two really wonderful experiences.
The first was while shopping at my favorite shoe store. I was perusing my size, while wearing a cute pair of wedge sandals, subtle enough that most people don't notice them with jeans. An older women, further down the aisle, was looking at shoes in the same size as me and took several glances at my shoes. Finally, I smiled at her and that's when she asked, "Do you like to wear women's shoes?" Years ago, I would have panicked. Confidently, I answered, "Yes, women's shoes are so much more exciting, so many different options." She agreed at how boring men's shoes can be, just sneakers or loafers. We ended up chatting for a few minutes about the shoes we like, how painful heels can be at times, which flats were the most comfortable, and where we like to shop. Walking away, she left with a "Good luck" goodbye.
Exhilarated, I finished my perusing and went off to one of my other favorite stores.
Again, with confidence, I walked into the women's shoes department and started browsing. There was an attractive woman, about my age, trying on a pair of black block heels, looking like she really wanted someone else's opinion. My mouth opened and commented "Those shoes look good on you". She smiled, thanked me, and I continued browsing shoes, with another compliment to her about how well her shoes went with her orange dress. We started talking about heel heights, and I suggested that the block heel would give her good support, even if she went with the higher heels. She was attentive, captivated with various shoe observations and advice I was sharing.
Off I went browsing shoes at the other end of the aisle. A few moments later, she surprised me, pleasantly, by engaging me in a conversation - "Are you on your lunch break?" The adventure continued, we ended up talking about what we do for work, how much we enjoy shopping, finding deals, and how we both found that black shoes tend to be our default color, with tan as our backup. She loved to wear flip flops, but couldn't wear them at work, so she was looking for a few work pairs. She was struggling to find a 2nd pair in size 8 1/2 to get the sale price.
Wishing her good luck, I went off to the next aisle and found a pair of strappy stilettos to try on. Around the corner she appeared, no shoes in hand, sad she couldn't find that 2nd pair for the deal. This time, she complimented me on the stilettos I was trying on with "You look good in those, you could wear them to work!"
She picked up a pair of tan pumps and commented on how tight they were. Just as I suggested that she try a size up, she smiled and said that was what she was thinking too. I joked that "We seem to think alike." Still looking a bit unsure, she turned to me and asked, "What do you think of these?" Without hesitation, as she modeled them, I responded, "Those look really good on you, definitely great for work with dresses and pants, and they compliment your dress really well."
She was ecstatic, she had found 2 pairs of shoes and could get that 2nd pair deal she really wanted! We exchanged names (not quite my real name), she excitedly said "Thanks for shoe shopping with me", and Sarah happily walked away with two really cute pairs of shoes.
As for me, I walked away with an amazing memorable moment.
The first was while shopping at my favorite shoe store. I was perusing my size, while wearing a cute pair of wedge sandals, subtle enough that most people don't notice them with jeans. An older women, further down the aisle, was looking at shoes in the same size as me and took several glances at my shoes. Finally, I smiled at her and that's when she asked, "Do you like to wear women's shoes?" Years ago, I would have panicked. Confidently, I answered, "Yes, women's shoes are so much more exciting, so many different options." She agreed at how boring men's shoes can be, just sneakers or loafers. We ended up chatting for a few minutes about the shoes we like, how painful heels can be at times, which flats were the most comfortable, and where we like to shop. Walking away, she left with a "Good luck" goodbye.
Exhilarated, I finished my perusing and went off to one of my other favorite stores.
Again, with confidence, I walked into the women's shoes department and started browsing. There was an attractive woman, about my age, trying on a pair of black block heels, looking like she really wanted someone else's opinion. My mouth opened and commented "Those shoes look good on you". She smiled, thanked me, and I continued browsing shoes, with another compliment to her about how well her shoes went with her orange dress. We started talking about heel heights, and I suggested that the block heel would give her good support, even if she went with the higher heels. She was attentive, captivated with various shoe observations and advice I was sharing.
Off I went browsing shoes at the other end of the aisle. A few moments later, she surprised me, pleasantly, by engaging me in a conversation - "Are you on your lunch break?" The adventure continued, we ended up talking about what we do for work, how much we enjoy shopping, finding deals, and how we both found that black shoes tend to be our default color, with tan as our backup. She loved to wear flip flops, but couldn't wear them at work, so she was looking for a few work pairs. She was struggling to find a 2nd pair in size 8 1/2 to get the sale price.
Wishing her good luck, I went off to the next aisle and found a pair of strappy stilettos to try on. Around the corner she appeared, no shoes in hand, sad she couldn't find that 2nd pair for the deal. This time, she complimented me on the stilettos I was trying on with "You look good in those, you could wear them to work!"
She picked up a pair of tan pumps and commented on how tight they were. Just as I suggested that she try a size up, she smiled and said that was what she was thinking too. I joked that "We seem to think alike." Still looking a bit unsure, she turned to me and asked, "What do you think of these?" Without hesitation, as she modeled them, I responded, "Those look really good on you, definitely great for work with dresses and pants, and they compliment your dress really well."
She was ecstatic, she had found 2 pairs of shoes and could get that 2nd pair deal she really wanted! We exchanged names (not quite my real name), she excitedly said "Thanks for shoe shopping with me", and Sarah happily walked away with two really cute pairs of shoes.
As for me, I walked away with an amazing memorable moment.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Media censorship
This blog isn't something that I've shared with my wife. I'm not sure how she would react to it, though seems like any reminder that I'm a crossdresser is usually something she's not interested in.
Watching TV shows about transgender lives also isn't something she would really encourage, though I find it fascinating to understand how Cait dealt with her struggles, or how the the girls from Transcendent try to have normal lives. There's a comfort from knowing that they are all genetic-men struggling with gender issues, much like me.
The media seems censored to me as I need covertly update my blog, or quickly, subtly review comments on various articles, or quietly watch shows that matter to me.
Watching TV shows about transgender lives also isn't something she would really encourage, though I find it fascinating to understand how Cait dealt with her struggles, or how the the girls from Transcendent try to have normal lives. There's a comfort from knowing that they are all genetic-men struggling with gender issues, much like me.
The media seems censored to me as I need covertly update my blog, or quickly, subtly review comments on various articles, or quietly watch shows that matter to me.
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Coming out party
In the last few weeks of this year, thoughts have been on my mind about whether 2017 will be the year I come out to my world that I'm a crossdresser. We often put so much effort into events, even planning our own weddings and funerals years before we're ready. For a crossdresser, seems appropriate that we should actually plan our coming out party, even if it's till years before we'll be the guest of honor.
Last night, I had an unusual dream...I'm dressed in a black cocktail dress, with sheer black tights, and sparkly black pumps. I'm peeking through a doorway, seeing lots of people I know having fun, all dressed up for some important event. Anxiety hits and I duck back into the Mens room, casually walk up to a urinal, and notice that there's another guy in this bathroom looking at me oddly. I start to wonder, do they seem me dressed as a woman. I quickly find a mirror, and see myself with my mostly guy-looking face, yet accented with beautiful makeup, and a feminine hairstyle, all coordinated with my outfit, looking more beautiful than I have ever imagined. Then I realize, this is my coming out party!
Last night, I had an unusual dream...I'm dressed in a black cocktail dress, with sheer black tights, and sparkly black pumps. I'm peeking through a doorway, seeing lots of people I know having fun, all dressed up for some important event. Anxiety hits and I duck back into the Mens room, casually walk up to a urinal, and notice that there's another guy in this bathroom looking at me oddly. I start to wonder, do they seem me dressed as a woman. I quickly find a mirror, and see myself with my mostly guy-looking face, yet accented with beautiful makeup, and a feminine hairstyle, all coordinated with my outfit, looking more beautiful than I have ever imagined. Then I realize, this is my coming out party!
 |
| Photo credit: Street style city via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA |
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Tying the knots
Scarves are everywhere now that it's fall/spring. I've been exploring these new accessories to me and am amazed at the many uses and solutions they provide.
Low cut blouses are easily covered up with the right scarf pattern and knot. Even in summer, many women wear light scarves to keep their tops looking more modest. In winter, either for warmth or modesty, scarves are are great accessory which also helps make wide chests look femininely slim.
Necklaces can be replaced with scarves and their various knots to help decorate the neckline, hide manly necks, and to make the torso appear to be femininely shorter. Numerous blogs show 10s of ways to tie scarves, sometimes even tying two scarves together into a masterpiece.
Bare shoulders are easily covered and uncovered using scarves. Summer tops and dresses can be easily converted to winter wear by adding thick scarves used as shawls.
Plain tops can be made more exciting by adding winter or holiday scarves to attract attention away from solid color tops. Sequins, shine, sparkles, on scarves
all add fun to boring outfits.
 |
| Photo credit: Linriel via Foter.com / CC BY-ND |
Necklaces can be replaced with scarves and their various knots to help decorate the neckline, hide manly necks, and to make the torso appear to be femininely shorter. Numerous blogs show 10s of ways to tie scarves, sometimes even tying two scarves together into a masterpiece.
Bare shoulders are easily covered and uncovered using scarves. Summer tops and dresses can be easily converted to winter wear by adding thick scarves used as shawls.
Plain tops can be made more exciting by adding winter or holiday scarves to attract attention away from solid color tops. Sequins, shine, sparkles, on scarves
all add fun to boring outfits.
Lower expectations
Men have significant high expectations we need to deliver to the ecosystems we live in.
Dads are expected to do "dad stuff". If only that included routinely wearing a princess dress and tiara to go to a tea party along with Mr and Mrs Bear. My wife doesn't think the kids should know about this part of me. How will I hide the dozens of pairs of shoes, or neatly hung dresses, or drawer full of bras and pantyhose from inquiring mind who expect a truthful dad.
Husbands are expected to provide a strong shoulder to their wives, supporting them in adventures and perils, calming their fashion anxieties. Who will support my occasional displeasure at wearing a shirt and tie, and readily encourage me to just wear anything when I change for the last time into a pretty dress, matching heels, and coordinated purse.
Role models are expected to provide stable models to impressionable minds. Why not also show the true, wavy mind that struggles with identity, fitting in, and social acceptance even at a mature age.
As crossdressers, we lower our expectations of acceptance as we try to survive and avoid disruption to others and their high expectations.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Wearing a bra to bed
Seems like there are two reasons to wear a bra to bed, either to sleep in it or for other adventures instead of sleeping.
Women seem to look for the first opportunity to take off their bra at home, and don’t seem to like the idea of going to sleep with their bra on.
I’ve tried sleeping with a padded underwire bra on and found that it took some getting used to turning from side to side, though I did like the lines it created on my skin when I took it off the next morning. Sleeping on my chest was a bit uncomfortable and ran the risk of indenting my cute bra cups. Lastly, the lace on some bras seems so delicate that it might rip if snagged when turning from side to side.
Sports bras are much more comfortable for sleeping in, jus watch out for them being too tight or affecting your circulation. Sleep bras (mostly cloth, no support, no underwire, no padding) are probably the best bra for sleeping in. They keep the chest in place, yet aren’t uncomfortable.
But for us who only sleep in a bra occasionally, it’s still a fun experience!
 |
| Photo credit: hiddencage via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND |
Women seem to look for the first opportunity to take off their bra at home, and don’t seem to like the idea of going to sleep with their bra on.
I’ve tried sleeping with a padded underwire bra on and found that it took some getting used to turning from side to side, though I did like the lines it created on my skin when I took it off the next morning. Sleeping on my chest was a bit uncomfortable and ran the risk of indenting my cute bra cups. Lastly, the lace on some bras seems so delicate that it might rip if snagged when turning from side to side.
Sports bras are much more comfortable for sleeping in, jus watch out for them being too tight or affecting your circulation. Sleep bras (mostly cloth, no support, no underwire, no padding) are probably the best bra for sleeping in. They keep the chest in place, yet aren’t uncomfortable.
But for us who only sleep in a bra occasionally, it’s still a fun experience!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)