Coming out party

In the last few weeks of this year, thoughts have been on my mind about whether 2017 will be the year I come out to my world that I'm a crossdresser. We often put so much effort into events, even planning our own weddings and funerals years before we're ready. For a crossdresser, seems appropriate that we should actually plan our coming out party, even if it's till years before we'll be the guest of honor.

Last night, I had an unusual dream...I'm dressed in a black cocktail dress, with sheer black tights, and sparkly black pumps. I'm peeking through a doorway, seeing lots of people I know having fun, all dressed up for some important event. Anxiety hits and I duck back into the Mens room, casually walk up to a urinal, and notice that there's another guy in this bathroom looking at me oddly.  I start to wonder, do they seem me dressed as a woman. I quickly find a mirror, and see myself with my mostly guy-looking face, yet accented with beautiful makeup, and a feminine hairstyle, all coordinated with my outfit, looking more beautiful than I have ever imagined. Then I realize, this is my coming out party!

Photo credit: Street style city via
Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Tying the knots

Scarves are everywhere now that it's fall/spring. I've been exploring these new accessories to me and am amazed at the many uses and solutions they provide.

Photo credit: Linriel
via Foter.com / CC BY-ND

Low cut blouses are easily covered up with the right scarf pattern and knot. Even in summer, many women wear light scarves to keep their tops looking more modest. In winter, either for warmth or modesty, scarves are are great accessory which also helps make wide chests look femininely slim.

Necklaces can be replaced with scarves and their various knots to help decorate the neckline, hide manly necks, and to make the torso appear to be femininely shorter. Numerous blogs show 10s of ways to tie scarves, sometimes even tying two scarves together into a masterpiece.

Bare shoulders are easily covered and uncovered using scarves. Summer tops and dresses can be easily converted to winter wear by adding thick scarves used as shawls.

Plain tops can be made more exciting by adding winter or holiday scarves to attract attention away from solid color tops. Sequins, shine, sparkles, on scarves
all add fun to boring outfits.

Lower expectations

Men have significant high expectations we need to deliver to the ecosystems we live in.

Dads are expected to do "dad stuff". If only that included routinely wearing a princess dress and tiara to go to a tea party along with Mr and Mrs Bear. My wife doesn't think the kids should know about this part of me. How will I hide the dozens of pairs of shoes, or neatly hung dresses, or drawer full of bras and pantyhose from inquiring mind who expect a truthful dad.

Husbands are expected to provide a strong shoulder to their wives, supporting them in adventures and perils, calming their fashion anxieties. Who will support my occasional displeasure at wearing a shirt and tie, and readily encourage me to just wear anything when I change for the last time into a pretty dress, matching heels, and coordinated purse.

Role models are expected to provide stable models to impressionable minds. Why not also show the true, wavy mind that struggles with identity, fitting in, and social acceptance even at a mature age.


As crossdressers, we lower our expectations of acceptance as we try to survive and avoid disruption to others and their high expectations.